What did we do last night that was yellow?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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