I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
