am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
