what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
