I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
