You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
