I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
