my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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