I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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