either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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