She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this just has baby written all over it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
