I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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