38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
