So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize