You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I smell stomach acid.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
