You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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