So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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