We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
