No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
