Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My first STD was from a foam party
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
