I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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