Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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