So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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