Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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