YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
