Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
