Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
