party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
