Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It was confusing and full of hummus
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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