Whod you bang
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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