He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They took my balls.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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