Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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