omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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