He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
