I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
