whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
