I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
