the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
