just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
