pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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