I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
