The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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