I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
