you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
