just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
should my penis look like a turkey
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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