there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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