I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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