My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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