He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize