Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
