but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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