I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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