you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize