Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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