I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
