big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
