On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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