god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
