i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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