im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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