He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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