so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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