please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
