i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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